A Small, Good Thing

It’s been about two months since I’ve been on Tumblr.

And everything has slowly but surely fallen apart. I fell in love and then he just left. We had the most incredible, two months. I fell fast and hard and everything was just right. It was like I had found this inner peace and light that I had never known I could possess. It was passionate, beautiful, and felt infinite. But just as quickly as he arrived, he left and took all of the good feeling with him. It was abrupt and the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I have literally never cried as hard or as long as I did over him. Now I have this gaping hole inside of me where our love used to live and I don’t know how to fill it. I let him inside of my head and my heart to a place that I’ve never let anyone in before. He saw the real me: the messy, unresolved pieces and darkest corners. I feel dirty and used and angry for allowing myself to trust so freely. I’m slowly beginning to heal, but the process is so lonely because no one really understands what I’m feeling. But at the same time, I’ve become stronger. I’ve discovered an inner strength and confidence in myself; the will to carry on and accept that this is only the beginning. This is only one love, one chapter of my story. It is in this knowledge that I am able to accept who I am and where I am right now and honestly, it’s kind of nice.